A photo is more than just a photo to me.
It’s proof…
Captured proof that something actually existed in my life.
Something happened.
It’s a reflection of a time and a moment in my life. It’s remembrance of a moment that no one can take from me.
For adoptees, there are so many memories that aren’t memories at all.
They simply don’t exist.
LOST IN ADOPTION…
Not just one family but two families.
When your birth parents abandon and reject you it’s hard to believe people wills stay. Most of the time I’ve found they don’t so capturing the moments is essential to me.
Abandonment.
Rejection.
Grief.
Loss.
Birthdays, Holidays, Births, School Days, Growing Up, Faces, & Smiles.
Moments in pictures last a lifetime.
Pictures are free.
I have plastic bins filled with photos from my life. I take pictures of as much as possible, as many people as possible and of as many things as possible.
My experience with losing so much has given me a unique perspective of the value of a memory because so many special and symbolic memories for me in my life simply don’t exist. As for most adoptees.
I always tell people the things I need in life are free.
Time & Memories.
I can never duplicate any memory exactly like it was the original time the memory took place. This is where a PICTURE comes in. It’s the closest thing I will ever have of the proof I can pull out at anytime and reminisce on old times I hold close to my heart.
So much LOST in ADOPTION…
Never to return.
I don’t want to lose any more.
People leave.
They walk away.
Pictures Stay.
This is very important to me.
Pictures are very important to me.
They are ties to my heart.
Can any of my fellow adoptees relate to being obsessed with taking photos? Have you ever contributed it in with being adopted?
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Pamela A. Karanova 
I never had connected the dots. People have always made fun of me because I take so many videos and pictures. Interesting thoughts. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Julie, You are more than welcome. I feel like I get the same but also know they don’t understand the dynamics. Sometimes its those photos are all we have… 🙂
Capturing a photo of my natural mom, natural dad, and me together was on my “bucket list” of reunion experiences. I will cherish that photo forever.
Hi Becky,
WOW at that photo! I can totally see how much that would mean to you. So glad you have that treasure to cherish! ❤
Loved this. Thank you for sharing it Pamela. Only very recently I finally found out my Birth Father’s name, and when I searched for him I found out he had died. But I have met his 2 amazing daughters WHO LOOK LIKE ME!!! Finally. They have both given me photos of my Dad. No longer is he a shadowy figure who I might/might not look like. So I totally get it when you say:
” A photo is more than just a photo to me.
It’s proof…
Captured proof that something actually existed in my life.
Something happened.”
But can I add…It’s captured proof that someone actually existed in my life. He’s real after all, and I happened! Does that make sense?
Hi Karen,
So glad you liked this blog post and could relate. So so sorry to hear your birth father passed before you had a chance to meet him. How heartbreaking. I can so relate to how much those photos mean and so glad you have them.
YES, “He’s real after all and I happened!”
It’s so hard to feel like we happened when we feel like we were never born. ❤